Will be hitting 30 weeks on Monday making it 10 more weeks to go and oh boy am I just ready to have this baby already. Hard to believe I'm going to get even bigger. The whole pregnant process has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. Thought I'd blog about how I have been handling being pregnant for the first time and the changes that come with it.
The Ups
We have been trying to get pregnant since last Februaury so this little baby is planned and muchly wanted. Losing my first in June made the whole process harder esp getting pregnant with this rainbow in September. Was so scared that he wouldn't stay either with the spotting and what not. So happy and lucky that once I hit the 5 month mark my pregnancy started to become more normal and less scary. I love feeling him tumble and boot around in my belly, it is so surreal and I still can't believe we have a little us in there. It is a true gift making it this far. Becoming a mommy is a blessing and I truely feel horrible for those couples out there who are struggling with conceiving.
The Downs
Now, the "downs" list seems to be a lot longer and feel selfish and bad for even having a downs list, esp for how special being able to carry a baby is. Started with morning sickness everyday from week 8-16 and being crazy tired. Happy this went away for the 2nd tri. I have always been self conscious and keen on how I look, esp being fit. Being pregnant has taken that to a new level of insecurities. I find it hard seeing my face get puffy and the many stretch marks I have acquired on my breasts. I understand and knew the changes were to come but with all the hormones and emotions it seems seeing all these changes is so much worse esp since I can't really change it nor work on it till after delivery. I have always been emotional and insecure but lately I cry sooooooo much it's not even funny, I feel bad that my husband has to be here and there is nothing he can do to fix it. He is helpless but still tries to make things better. I get anxious and then just bawl and he has been so good to me and understanding. Letting me vent everyday about my looks and emotions and giving me support. I heard about the crying and emotions during pregnancy but you dont realize how crazy it is till your there. Like being pregnant wasn't enough but we have to cry for no real reason or over things we wouldn't have cried over before. That's just me though, maybe other women aren't so coo coo. lol I dont even like dressing up anymore because I feel like I'm one shape lol and NOTHING fits. I have settled for sweats, large tanks, and maternity dresses until he arrives.
Sorry for the rant but it feels good to get it off my chest and I hope I'm not the only one who has these thoughts through pregnancy. That I'm not selfish or crazy. Once June gets here I will be me again but happier because I will have my baby safe and sound in my arms. Can't wait to transform back into fit confident me.
Pic of me and my love on vacation. My motivation is to get this back at least by 6 months postpartum.
The Ups
We have been trying to get pregnant since last Februaury so this little baby is planned and muchly wanted. Losing my first in June made the whole process harder esp getting pregnant with this rainbow in September. Was so scared that he wouldn't stay either with the spotting and what not. So happy and lucky that once I hit the 5 month mark my pregnancy started to become more normal and less scary. I love feeling him tumble and boot around in my belly, it is so surreal and I still can't believe we have a little us in there. It is a true gift making it this far. Becoming a mommy is a blessing and I truely feel horrible for those couples out there who are struggling with conceiving.
The Downs
Now, the "downs" list seems to be a lot longer and feel selfish and bad for even having a downs list, esp for how special being able to carry a baby is. Started with morning sickness everyday from week 8-16 and being crazy tired. Happy this went away for the 2nd tri. I have always been self conscious and keen on how I look, esp being fit. Being pregnant has taken that to a new level of insecurities. I find it hard seeing my face get puffy and the many stretch marks I have acquired on my breasts. I understand and knew the changes were to come but with all the hormones and emotions it seems seeing all these changes is so much worse esp since I can't really change it nor work on it till after delivery. I have always been emotional and insecure but lately I cry sooooooo much it's not even funny, I feel bad that my husband has to be here and there is nothing he can do to fix it. He is helpless but still tries to make things better. I get anxious and then just bawl and he has been so good to me and understanding. Letting me vent everyday about my looks and emotions and giving me support. I heard about the crying and emotions during pregnancy but you dont realize how crazy it is till your there. Like being pregnant wasn't enough but we have to cry for no real reason or over things we wouldn't have cried over before. That's just me though, maybe other women aren't so coo coo. lol I dont even like dressing up anymore because I feel like I'm one shape lol and NOTHING fits. I have settled for sweats, large tanks, and maternity dresses until he arrives.
Sorry for the rant but it feels good to get it off my chest and I hope I'm not the only one who has these thoughts through pregnancy. That I'm not selfish or crazy. Once June gets here I will be me again but happier because I will have my baby safe and sound in my arms. Can't wait to transform back into fit confident me.
Pic of me and my love on vacation. My motivation is to get this back at least by 6 months postpartum.